18 Jan 2008

Post number 2: My ruined eyesight

I’m going to have another go at post number 2 because additional to it taking me half an hour to find the new post link because of my terrible eyesight when I pressed the publish button I thought I’d managed to wipe out post 2 so I rewrote most of it in word. See what we rely on our sight for! What a shambles, Please don’t use this chaos as an excuse to stop reading unless of course you want to. My brain can no longer control the movement of my eyeballs which is apparently technically called a nastagmous ( probably spelt that wrong, never-mind). This combined with occasional bouts of double vision has meant that reading is pretty much impossible unless the font size is about 30 and even then it is a challenge to read unless the line spacing is double. Even reading like this is exhausting. Bizarrelly, everything is in focus, ie. there is no blurring. I can't work this out at all... So my brain can focus my eyes but it can't control their movement, surely a much easier thing to do than focusing, once again the complexitities of the human brain are completely beyond me… Or anyone else for that matter. Especially neurologists or opthamologists it seems, the firs tnuerologist I talked too told me that over time my sight would settle down and improve until of course I went to Moorfields eye hospital where a horrible consultant called mr Lee shattered what little hope I had by telling me that my sight would never improve, The only way of fixing it would be to re-wire my brain ,obviously this is not possible. He described my stroke as ‘a bomb going off behind my eyes’. I couldn’t have felt worse if he’d punched me in the stomach. I think a dalek would have had a better bedside manner.


Anonymous said...

Oh man, I feel for you regarding doctors. I guess, ultimately, you want the ones who can do the job. And have friends/family there to hold your hand. (Unless you have my mother for a mother. In which case, a rabid hyena would be better).

As I was finding my neuro-oncologist and neurosurgeoun, I found the best ones, but they aren't exactly warm and fuzzy. It would help if they had a bit more of that. But I guess so long as they know what is supposed to go there and what bits are supposed to come out, that's more important???

I hope your vision has improved since you first posted this.

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