5 Feb 2008

Post Number 9: Self-Loathing

After feeling tetchy yesterday, I feel as though I may have hit a new low today. God I hate this place and god I loathe and despise myself .I’ll tell you why… It’s the whole dishonesty of being in hospital where you almost have to be nice to people who: you can’t stand/irritate you/ are painfully stupid because you are so utterly reliant on them. At least in the world of ability you at least felt you could rely on yourself and pick and choose who you need help from. In hospital even an able bodied imbecile is in a much better position than me it seems. Morning rant over – may be back later…

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