13 Feb 2008

Post Number 15: Derek and the finger snappin' top 100

After yesterdays cheerfull post that honestly made me cry, i think that the subject of todays post should be rather more lighthearted and focus on the people who have made me laugh during the last two years. There is no-one else I could start with but Derek, the Glaswegian nurse from the TLU (probably living it up in Sweden now). Del and I invented the fingersnappin' top 10. Inspired (dunno what the opposite of that is,deinspired anyone) by having to listen to Tragic FM over breakfast most mornings. It isn't about the top 10 oldies or about the top 10 songs that got us clicking our fingers, it was about the top10 artists who made us so angry that we physically wanted to snap their fingers. A rather amusing and sadistic slant. On the sad day that Del left, Mick Hucknall was top of the snaps. (very) closely followed by Phil Collins and usually in the mix were Chris de Burgh, Daniel Bedingfield, Elton John, Gareth Gates, Will Young, Barry Manilow, Amy Winehouse and Leona Lewis (later additions by yours truly) and numerous others! Whenever one of their songs came on the radio (which with Tragic they did, a lot) Del would say that the worst efforts would make him want to stop what he was doing, drop everything and go and find them. This particular expression of outrage, what we called 'coming over all Begbie (after the comedy Psycopath in trainspotting). A film I watched about 4 times after meeting Del because i figured I needed some anti-Scottish material. There are so many great lines in it!,apart from slightly glamourising Heroin, it really is a work of genius!

Casting my mind back a bit further, I was always entertained by Harry and his visitors (remember the cockney geezer from the frank Cooksey. On one occasion Harry was watching some program about football and they were doing something about Newcastle. Harry was quietly watching it and suddenly and inexplicably said under his breath ‘ c***s’. To this day I’m still not sure what was so funny about it. I think it was just that a 70 year old man had just uttered the worst swear word in existence for no reason. Not to forget some of his visitors,There was his 80 year old(whodidn’t look a day over60).I think she is best described as being identical to the foul mouthed granny from the Catherine Tate show. Damn she made me laugh! There was also Pete, another patient and alround cockney geezer, when asked a question about boxing his answer almost caused me to have a hernia. He simply replied rather gingerly. , “Joe Calza…” “Joe Calzaa… “Joe Calzar… “ that Welsh Geezer.I almost brought up my breakfast through my nose. Then of course there was Darren, I think it’s difficult to top the ‘Murrumbingee’ incident…and me taking the piss out of Andrea when she was waxing lyrical about her painting her toenails. Then there was Andrew, camper than a row of pink tents. He once said to me when I was having a particularly bad hair day…” I think we had better phone the Cappucines and tell them one of their monks is missing. CHEEKY BASTARD It may have had an element of truth to it and precipitated my accidental grade one haircut but dems da breaks. More recently things that have tickled me are Nicole’s (remember the pretty one at the TLU) stories of how we used to drink until we were sick when we were teenagers.Teenagers? I remember doing that as recently as when I was a student! Ican’t remember any specific incidents on Drapers but Brad was consistently hilarious. In fact there was one time when he told his mum that he was taking a fifth wife (an African thing apparently) his mum had a heart Attack, apparently she didn’t really. I also love Toni’s (the other pretty one) impressions of Peter Kay.I wish life now was this never ending stream of comedy it sounds like. Sadly it’s not.

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