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7 Feb 2008

Post Number 11: Dom Angears amazing Poem

So that last post was a bit bloody depressing, well recalling it and writing it sure upset me so I thought it might be best to re-start with something a bit more lighthearted! So I thought I’d post a poem written for me by one of my most amusing ( and obviously rather talented) friends Dom (yes, another one) Angear. It is probably the thing I have received that has moved me most.

In my mind I thought to see you might break my heart
But I found myself craving a ride on your cart
For sure things have changed, on the outside at least
But that same heart soared to see that you’re still a beast
Knowledge of your condition , which you so kindly shared
Has given me hope, that which imagination hadn’t dared
To realize, though painful and oh so frustratingly slow
You can crawl beneath the razor wire and go.
Inexpressible rage at this eternal nearly stage
Balancing an elephant on a razor blade
Intangible progress stinks, nothing to do but think
Through Physio reinforced will , you can make those new links
Plough on through relapses, keep re-routing synapses
Forging new paths, machete in hand
Like ants linked across a chasm, to the promised land
So keep this in mind, when the psyche is unkind
Though things may never be quite the same
You have the power within to Heath Robinson your brain
Sometimes will be low, the future’s extent… a bungalow
Yet from what I saw, you haven’t lost your mojo.
So you bloody keep going , even when its not showing
Perhaps our faith in you can your keep your faith growing
And when results don’t match expectation, just remember this equation,
Success = Will + Plain Perspiration.

Someone can try to piss on my chips but frankly I don’t care I think its quite brilliant. As you can imagine this whole experience has given me too much time to think (always dangerous) about what is important in life. After all this time I’ve come to realise it is something that has been bandied about for ages – Friends and friendship. If I look at the help I have been given by friends I have consistently been amazed at what people have been prepared to give up. Above all others was the relationship I had with my former girlfriend( I’m not getting into the reasons why it’s no more, just leave it down to that great Facebook Mantra, it’s complicated).The reason why I considered her to be so important was because despite me being so unresponsive and to all intents and purposes, dead, she basically put her life on hold so she could be at my bedside for three weekswhen it was not known if I’d be much more than a vegetable if indeed I woke up at all. I can’t imagine what that must have been like. When, I look back on a lot of the genuinely positive experiences of the last two years, they’ve been because of friends and the sacrifices they’ve made for me . When I look back on the staff who I’ve got on with the most it is unashamedly the men who have made me laugh and somewhat ashamedly, the prettier girls and those who have been most caring , That probably sounds dreadful but I’m just being honest! Well I’m glad to have got all of that off my chest, I will continue with the scant detail of my future plans.

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