7 Mar 2008

Post 23: Sadness (cond) at losing Tash

Ok, so it’s now Friday and I’m not feeling a whole lot better, I’m not sure I can bear to feel this bad for seven years (the length of time that me and Tash were on and off together) 7 years because apparently that’s how long it takes, that’s probably bollocks but for some reason I remembered and believed it. Sounds symmetrical, must be true etc. etc… I particularly want to thank those who have sent me nice messages of suyport, particularly Steph Foster’s comforting and perceptive message, her fiancé is a lucky man. It is probably going to be one of the main things I am going to miss about Tash (here we go again). Aside from her beauty, I am really going to miss her intelligence and perception)From what I have heard about stroke, one of it’s major side effects appears to be the tragic demise of relationships. Despite the obvious (and multitudinous) problems our relationship faced (trust me there were plenty) I thought a strong enough foundation of love and care would see it weather the worst of storms (and believe me this is as bad as it gets!)…Enough Jackie Collins, I can’t wait to get to this house in Oxshott, or probably more accurately I can’t wait to get out of the TLU. For starters, this place is becoming less pleasant to live in every day, take this morning and don’t get me wrong I empathise and sympathise with the other patients but can’t help thinking that a transitional Living Unit is not the place for a Polish guy ( who can walk but can’t speak or swallow properly) There was I thinking that transitional living in rehab was about establishing normal social links with people before going out into the real world again. All Andrzes seems to do is shout (nonsense of course) and disrupt stuff. Just this morning two other inmates almost had a fight over breakfast – John, another non talker (it must be so frustrating for him! He has this habit of sneaking up behind people in his power wheelchair and then shouting in there ear to scare them. He did this to Richard (the guy who sounds like an Irish drunk) Richard failed to see the funny side and started to shout and swear at John, this started off one of Johns uncontrollable rages that (I hope) has been brought on by his brain injury and ended up with these two wheelchair bound guys shouting at each other across the breakfast table with John having to be restrained by the staff, It’s small wonder I am hating it here, I feel like some disabled extra trapped in a sick real-life (but much worse) version of ’one flew over the cuckoo’s nest’ and things seem to be getting worse. I always used to joke to myself whenever I drove into London up the A3 and would see this huge building on the right of the road with this big sign saying Royal Hospital for Neuro-Disability,”I hope I never end up in that Nuthouse” and here I am. Careful what you pray doesn’t happen to you This is absolutely true by the way,That is exactly what I used to think when driving past this place although it transpires it’s not a nuthouse. Could have fooled me! Being here is certainly driving me insane!

1 comment:

Averil said...

Hello Dom, I can see from reading your last two entries that you are really feeling down. We have replied to your posting on Gumtree. But are having difficulty getting cv's, photo's,and letter through to you via Gumtree.
We know that you need people around you that will assist you with your transition into independent living. We are both qualified to assist you. Caroline comes with counseling and medical background and we both come with careing experience, loads of common sense, patience, understanding of your condition and a hugh sense of humour. We will keep your spirits up. REGRETTABLY, Clingon is not a language that we are conversant in HOWEVER we are both more than willing to learn from you,ha ha. My husband suffered a stroke last year, hence I might be a fast learner!!
Try to be patient with the other guy's, Sweetie, after all you can see the bright light of escape into independent life at the end of the tunnel, no point in offing one or both of them and facing indefinate incarceration!!! We really wouldn,t want that now,would we????
Should you want to contact me via e-mail is the address.
Keep your chin up and take care!!



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