21 Mar 2008

Post number 28: Introducing inspirational Carlie

So, yesterday was my 31st birthday, and, as per usual there are a hell of a lot of people that I am grateful too for making yesterday a pretty good day in the grand scheme of things. So, I am extremely grateful to those who sent cards, wrote me messages, came to see me, gave me presents, baked, brought and ate cake with me but the person I’m most grateful too is a girl named Carlie. No-one, I doubt has met Carlie, in fact I only met her a few weeks ago myself in the back of an ambulance, that’s because she is another patient at the RHN, the reason I’m so grateful to her is because when she went shopping on Monday for a birthday present for her mum she thought of me and remembered my birthday and bought me a present. That sounds nice, I hear you say , why are you getting so worked up about it? Because, quite simply what has befallen her makes what has happened to me look like childs play and I almost died. The reason I think she is so wonderful is how well she is dealing with it. From what I gather, In her mid 20s, while watching TV one evening a blood vessel in her neck ruptured leaving her completely paralysed below the neck, she has a tracheotomy and ventilator not to mention a pacemaker. What has happened to her breaks my heart and makes me realise there is no justice in this world. I am too scared to ask her what her prognosis is for obvious reasons, at least with me I know I am going to slowly get better, it may take years but at least I know it will eventually happen, I just don’t know with her! Here is this young, beautiful girl that can’t come to lunch with me and my friends today because two (that’s right 2) carers aren’t available and she is still so positive and chatty! This I think, is why I think she is so wonderful because despite everything she remains so chipper. It’s small wonder I was so utterly moved by her getting me a present. She even gave me a card .To do that she had to call a member of staff to write it for her and specially apply for her some lipstick and then press the card to her face so she could leave a kiss, how sweet. I am virtually brought to tears by the huge effort she made for me and I am so moved by the frequent efforts that friends and family have made for me in the last two years. There are too many to name but you know who you are.

Ok, so its Saturday now and the weather is positively Glaswegian – as I probably said somewhere before the weather is the nemesis of the wheelchair user. At least able-bodied souls can run for cover when caught in a squal, not so in a wheelchair. You also feel the cold much more despite the fact that you’re wearing 15 more layers thsn the most wrapped up able person. I would like nothing more than to go up to the main hospital right now and go and watch ‘the mighty boosh 3’ with Carlie but it feels like the hatches are batonned down here as the arctic wind makes the doors,windows and walls creak like a cross channel ferry. Of course it doesn’t help that I feel I look dreadful and can barely keep my eyes open . I felt the same yesterday when my college matedbtook me outnto lunch . Even though it is gres=at to see everyone together.It is difficult not to feel self conscious when you feel that you sound terrible, can’t stop yourself from dribbling (a problem that has become more pronounced since my stroke!) can barely keep my head up or make eye contact. I’m 31 FFS, I am finding it so hard to accept these childish deficiencies! And I haven’t even described how humiliating I find eating.

Now, I have massively digressed from the intended subject which was to say thankyou to the group of people who made it to lunch yesterday and to specifically thank Vicky Denning for organising it and the Dennings for coming along to pick me up. I only wish I could have more energy to enjoy it more. Thanks allJ.

1 comment:

Devin said...

And you have inspired me my friend. My musician father just discovered yesterday that he suffered TIA(mini strokes) around last year. Unaware of this, he has been very depressed and unable to keep his music gigs due to his limited mobility. You saying "I will recover" gives me the great gift of hope for my dad. Thank you very much.



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