11 Apr 2008

Post number 37: My first night in Oxshott

I feel rather torn today, because I spent my first night in my ‘new’ house. I want to sound enthusiastic and shout positive things but I sadly can’t wholeheartedly do that. I think that my brother has done a miraculous job (time being rather tight) but he has almost single-handedly put in a kitchen and a wetroom,my friends at the trust have sorted me out a great TV and computer, both of which have big enough screens to help me actually see what is going on, My mother has been able to recycle some curtains from somewhere and my friends (Simon and Jackie from John Lewis and Tim and Alex) have magically rustled up some bits of random (rather good actually!) furniture – In short the house should be ideal. Last night my mum and dad acted as carers, so why don’t I feel tippidy top? Simple, because I was terrified. Terrified of what? Terrified of my total reliance on everyone (my dad in particular). For the last 2 years I have slowly been clawing back tiny bits of independence, getting to and from bed myself, transferring to the loo on my own, using the bathroom independently, dressing on the bed independently, setting myself up to use the PC , All this had now gone and I was totally dependent on my dad for EVERYTHING. This was frankly a horrible shock and is a classic example of what can happen if you set your expectations too high. You get punched in the knackers and end up feeling winded. So if anything good came of last night I’m hoping that I made the right choice selecting flatmates. It was such a hard choice to make! Two local lads vs two middle-aged saffa ladies. The ladies arrived at 7 and instantly showed that they would be ideal by showing themselves to be calm, compassionate and caring, they would have made ideal flatmates, the lads arrived a little later and instantly made me laugh, I’m a sucker for a sense of humour, I would go as far as to say, it is laughter that has got me through the last two years so on that basis I went with the lads but I was gutted to let the ladies down. I hope things improve and I look forward to entertaining all comers in Oxshott in future – with any luck this is the start of a positive new chapter in my life.

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