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23 Apr 2008

Post Number 40: More cooking by Tanya

Well, Tanya delivered again! Very glad I saved that lobster from Saturday as it always makes sense (therefore something I don't always do!) to spread treats in hospital over a few days rather than consume it all at once. Niall (one of the since sadly moved on rehab assistants who I used to get on famously with) used to often take the piss out of me at mealtimes when putting on my napkins by saying 'will sir be having the Lobster Thermidor'? He certainly will be surprised to hear that I've genuinely had lobster at the TLU! He won't be at all surprised to hear it went nowhere near the hospital kitchen! I miss Niall but I don't miss his lectures on how spreading my toast and making me a cup of tea was below him. Now this illustrates a point about the new way I have to live. Yes, I can do my own toast and tea but I find that doing it myself is exhausting both physically and mentally. In the mornings I feel utterly destroyed. So much so that even speech is difficult. Transferring out of bed, showering and then eating breakfast completely takes it out of me, if I had to spread my toast one handed and make a cuppa from my chair I could rename my 'morning routine' one more time. Currently it stands at 'morning ordeal' but that would fast become 'morning torture'. To be crystal clear, I hate not being able to do such menial tasks, I'm 31 FFS and asking people for help is not in my nature, largely because people are not mind-readers and don't know (and shouldn't be expected to know) automatically how I want stuff done and this is why I owe so many people so much. Importantly, they have thought first and then; They have tried.

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