3 Jun 2008

Post 46: Trying to stay occupied

My, it feels like an age since I last wrote anything for this. It's not because I've been lazy mind ( well not that lazy). Living this independently has its advantages but it also has its challenges. The biggest of these is staying occupied in a way that isn't exhausting. Fatigue and always feeling terrible are my worst problems and prevent me doing most things. Even watching TV. I have also been guilty of running low on inspiration for this as this post probably demonstrates! There is definitely less stimulus at home but at least I don't feel like a small child subject to the rules, regulations and rigmarole of being an inpatient and being surrounded by people you couldn't escape from no matter how hard you try. I soon discovered that trying hard to get away from it was fruitless because it was too exhausting and made me feel worse. One of the reasons I think I get so tired is because I am constantly living in fear. You name it, now that I'm in a wheelchair, I can be scared of it. Believe me, always being terrified is exhausting! If anyone knows an antidote to feeling this way, please let me know and don't forget that I'm a cynical bastard (no really) so words don't often work (unfortunately). That said I'm still alive and no longer in hospital which is something to celebrate! I can't believe I've said or thought something so absurdly positive! I can think of a few people that might surprise! Of late my talent for self criticism has been particularly special and helpful to no-one. I seem to have this habit of torturing myself, not physically – I think I have drawn the line way before self harming (see stuff about fear). Anyway I digress, Do please brave the journey and the potential drivel to come and see my new place(if not me) or come to my housewarming BBQ (Please contact me if you should know the details and haven't heard anything). I'm afraid I did a 'proper job' on the invites and probably ended up inviting all sorts of poor unsuspecting people who've got far better things to do and forgot all the people I should really be inviting. Oh the joys of being unable to see or write properly.


mattpadmore said...

your blog says lots of the things i feel but am too scared to say in public
do get in touch if you want to share notes
mattpadmore at

SurvivingStroke said...

I read your Post today and it sounds like you are in need for some inspiration. I thought this book would be a great tool in helping you and others who frequent your blog to tap into some inspiration that you know you have inside you. Its always better to know that your not in it alone.

Legendary TV Personality Mark McEwen has a new book out on life after stroke. In November 2005, Mark suffered a minor stroke while visiting relatives in Baltimore. The hospital misdiagnosed it as the flu and discharged him. A few days later, on a flight back to his home in Orlando, McEwen suffered a massive stroke during the plane’s descent. It almost killed him, and it might have been prevented.

McEwen, a talented and witty public speaker, suddenly found himself stuck in a hospital, unable to talk, swallow, or move half his body. In his new book, CHANGE IN THE WEATHER: Life After Stroke, McEwen’s writes candidly everything that happened next, in an intimate chronicle of inspiring perseverance.

Today, over two years later, McEwen has returned to much of his normal life—walking, talking, driving, and even going back on TV. With CHANGE IN THE WEATHER, McEwen has decided to share his story because “I want stroke survivors to know that they’re not alone. There is indeed life after stroke, and even in the most extreme cases, patients can expect to recover pieces of their old lives and graft them onto whatever new experiences lay in wait.”

In addition to discussing what we need to know about stroke and its warning signs, he can discuss his illustrious career and how stroke humbled him.

For more information on the book visit:

Dom P said...

Matt - Iwill certainly be in touch and will explore possibilities for visiting - it sounds like we have much to discuss. In the meantime stay well.

As for Mr Mcewen, I must confess to being none the wiser as to who he is? I will try and get hold of his book on audio because it would take me a decade to physically read it. Hopefully it will provide me with a bit more of that scarce currency, hope.

Anonymous said...

I've ordered the Audio CD of this book for you Dom, i hope you find it useful :)




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