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14 Jun 2008

Post 48: 'Running on Empty'

Like one of the comments on this blog said 'it looks as though you're running low on inspiration', charming I thought but dead right. As so much less happens in my life than anybody else it's difficult to know what to write about. In a dream I had the other night I thought it might be quite interesting to try and explain what I used to do. Unfortunately I imagined a few faces dropping and eyes glazing over. I then thought that the only people who might be remotely interested would be some of my former colleagues who were none the wiser, but honestly I used to work bloody hard doing whatever it was. I loved my job mainly because I loved the people I worked with. OK every so often the idiosyncracies of the John Lewis Partnership used to drive me crazy. For a start, because the place is a partnership (therefore everyone is a partner) means that many more people are involved in the decision making process – this inevitably meant that getting anything done quickly was a challenge but because of the slightly (ahem) old fashioned hierarchy sometimes the smallest little thing would find its way into the hands of someone very senior. It is this eye for detail that is often frustrating but sets the place aside from a lot of other retailers. God I miss the place. Since my stroke they have been so supportive. I used to love working for a retailer, particularly a fashion retailer. I used to take some pride in my appearance because of this, ie I used to iron a shirt and wear a suit but no tie. The thought of even ironing a shirt these days is anathema which demonstrates that after all, there may be some small advantages to this goddamned stroke! In the same way I am unlikely to ever do any washing up ever again. If I can my recovery will have been astounding or I need to have some serious words with myself! I used to sit pretty near the director and head of Merchandising for menswear who used to take the piss out of me every day. I actually used to love the banter. One of the things that Peter (the director of Menswear) used to particularly focus on was my collection of shirts. He'll be pleased to know that it might be a bit tricky to wear a proper shirt again and that my entire collection of shirts (amassed lovingly over several years) were completely destroyed in the fire at my parents house along with all my other possessions after my parents had taken all my stuff home for 'safe-keeping' just after I'd had my stroke. Talk about kicking a man when he's down, I digress, I think I'm just about over losing everything I own I'm just not quite over losing everything. I'm not in the best of states at the moment because I've just been transferred from the excellent NHS funded carers to an agency carer which we'll somehow have to fund. Things didn't start too well on handover day when no-one from the agency showed up till 10am. Things are now sorted out but it didn't exactly inspire confidence. Anyway today is a saturday and Tony is taking Carlie and I to the Stella Artois tennis. I'm hoping that we've handled the many logistical hurdles ( I think Carlies are even more substantial than mine) but she handles such things much better than I do. Hopefully we'll have a good day and the sun will shine. I will report back in my next blog entry which should also detail how the housewarming goes.

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