19 Oct 2008

Post 80: The filming of Never Mind The Buzzcocks

That's right, I should be less unhappy after this week! I've taken in a couple of great shows this week, seen some good friends and importantly been visited by some gorgeous women. I however have worked something out, I'm only ever going to really be happy if one of two things happen and if they both happen it's going to feel like finding the holy grail. The first is to wake up and feel that the sleep I've just had has made a jot of difference to my constant state of exhaustion. The second is predictably to wake up next to a beautiful woman who wants to be there, not because I'm some charity case because of my disability, not someone I've had to beg, someone who is comfortable with me and what I have become. Before my stroke I was used to this. It is the thing I miss the most.

Anyway, happier stuff that doesn't make me cry. On Tuesday I went courtesy of Tony finding the tickets and Simon Dawes driving the van (accompanied by his awesome wife Yvonne) to see the filming of one of my favourite shows, Never Mind the Buzzcocks at BBC TV centre in Shepherds Bush. Once we had negotiated the many discarded copies of the Guardian we finally got to our places. Usually a wheelchair affords you a front row seat and a great view but sadly this time we were right behind the cameras, seeing as the tickets for these things are free we could hardly complain so we were able to watch most of the action on a nearby monitor but were obviously able to soak up the atmosphere. The first thing that was blindingly obvious was that rumors of in my opinion 'greatest living Englishman' Bill Bailey retiring from the show are sadly true. Impossibly young and hilarious presenter Simon 'streak of Piss' Amstell broke the audience the news gently by telling us Bailey had turned out to be;'greedy' and that after 11 years he had decided to call it a day to focus on his £30 a head sellout arena stand-up tour. Imagine, being motivated by that in this day and age, especially with capitalism crashing all around us,the average BBC employee must be thrilled. I'm being careful because I know a few! Anyway Phil Jupitus was very much in evidence, he is HUGE and as the recording wore on he looked rather bored but he is still consistently hilarious. Guest Replacement for Bailey was the inimitable Jonny Vegas who showed how much the show missed Bill Bailey. Sure, he is occasionally funny but not in the way that suits the show. I think the right words would be 'irritating' or 'tiresome'.Anyway my favourite exchange of the evening came between Amstell and guest Danny 'the cockney geezer' Dyer. Now Dyer is responsible for one of my all time favourite movie moments as speed crazed small time cockney drug dealing policemans son 'Moff' in 'Human Traffic' when he has a quality comedy rant abou how he would torture Peter 'f*****g' Andre. Simon Amstell was telling him he needed to change his brand to Danny Dieer (with a slight French accent) so he could be taken seriously as an actor instead of being typecast as a 'cockney urchin'. Dyer was not impressed. For a 30 minute show filming took two and a half hours ostensibly because Amstell kept fluffing his autocue lines or Vegas would be deliberately obstructive which was funny the first time he did it, not the thirtieth. All in all an entertaining ((if a little knackering) evening. I'm going to see 'greedy' Bills stand up show in December. I can hardly wait! From the ridiculous to the sublime, I saw something called momix last night which is a bit different from what I'd normally see. How would you describe it? Well, weird would be a good start. Contemparary dance in the pitch black with some UV lights tactically placed to illuminate the odd white strip on the black lycra clad dancers all set to a thumping Jean Michelle Jarre-esque post-apocalyptic soundtrack, weird is probably easier.The highlight of the night for me was getting driven and accompanied to the theatre by the lovely Andrea, my first occupational therapist in the Frank Cooksey Rehab Unit at Kings College, (she was pictured on the left in a much older post but the photo is now gone, probably another thing I can't be arsed to learn about blogging). Anyway the point is that she is great. She drove flawlesslly, and she is sparkling company and because she is used to dealing with stroke patients she knows exactly what she is doing. She made me feel safer than I have felt for ages. I hadn't spoken to her for ages,she just happened to respond to a group email requesting a driver. I feel privileged to have been in her thoughts. Continuing the theme of amazing women that have come to see me this week, I thought of my first proper girlfriend Lucy who I haven't seen for years.We briefly spoke on facebook when I was still in hospital and it turns out that she knew about my situation by virtue of bumping in to my cousin at a party. I got in touch with her again because she was good at listening to my problems all those years ago and when we'd been in email touch, I figured she'd be great to talk too. She's also incredibly pretty, which always help! The same is true of another friend of mine, Leigh. Now I have a couple of attractive friends called Leigh, this is the very tall South African one. There's nothing like being surrounded by Saffas! Both my housemates, Andrea, My physio Nat, what is going on? I hope there isn't a correllation with my mood?! I doubt that very much! I think for some reason my mood appears to be correlated with visits from lovely ladies.I feel a bit like Terry Thomas! Hellllllooooooo! (said in a posh gap-toothed way).

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