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14 Dec 2008

Post 90: a weekend away

I have been at my parents house this w/e so a post will appear by tuesday morning describing my trip to see Steve Coogan last week and my weekend away.
I must apologise for what it's worth once again for not having this ready first thing Monday but again I plead guilty on the grounds of diminished responsibility because I wasn't at home in front of my computer to be able to do a whole post, OK, so I managed to get to a computer but because of the difficulties I now face with my eyesight and the fact that it would have required superhuman stamina (normal stamina for anyone else) and me being more antisocial than normal ( that's pretty antisocial) I just couldn't manage it, so again I do offer my sincerest apologies to all two of the regular readers of this rubbish.
If there are more feel free to pleasantly surprise me by emailing me.
The reason I was away this weekend was to spend some time at my folks 'phoenix from the flames' house and to spend some time with my parents when they haven't had to drive for an hour and also treat a few of my more married friends to a relaxing weekend in the country in the middle of the silly season. In times gone by this sort of weekend would have been unthinkable (I'm talking way before my incarceration in this wheelchair), instead it would be about who was bringing what booze, identifying which comfy piece of floor I'd sleep on and which rooms were 'out of bounds' and being positive mum and Dad were out of the country. This time my six friends were all marrried couples, Mum was doing the food and everyone had beds except Nick and Sal who were stoically (heroically?) driving back to London after dinner because they feared their 11 month old son Oscar wouldn't sleep in an unfamiliar place thus sparing everyone the risk of being kept awake by a screaming child. It would make a pleasant change for me, actually having a reason to feel tired, but I salute their reasoning and thank them for being so considerate. Anyway, I'm sure you're getting the picture. Life is changing for me for two reasons:
1.Growing up – Where the concept of spending a weekend at my parents house actually involves my parents being there, the weekend actually ended up as much for them as anyone but it's nice that a lot of my friends feel so comfortable with my parents and vice versa, it meant that it felt that people had come to see them as much as they'd come to see me or anyone else plus my mum loves entertaining (It must be why I love doing it so much). I used to enjoy nothing more than having people round for one of my staple spag bols (the only thing I could do for big groups) and a bucketload of red wine.
2.Being disabled – has meant that the emphasis for all social gatherings has changed, now it's more about seeing other people and them making more of the running and me doing much more of the listening, listening is not one of my greatest talents having inherited Stoker genes from my mothers side of the family, people who know her/ The Stokers will probably allow themselves a wry smile should they read this! Seeing people at least used to be about talking/joking and laughing. Being clear it still is but I do a lot less of it because all I can think about now is how tired I feel and must look and how awful my voice sounds. God this is so painful, it's so nice spending time with my friends but it is hard feeling like I have been robbed of everything that made people friends with me in the first place! That's why I am so pathetically grateful to anyone who shows kindness towards me while I'm in this condition. I guess it's because I've always believed people have hard enough lives and people choose their friends based on who makes their life easier/better. At the moment I fail to understand how I can do this. I'm not cheerful, I'm not happy, I'm not full of energy, I didn't always used to be either! But I used to be able to turn on one good characteristic even at the worst of times. I can't do that anymore or at least I don't feel I can. Enough Self-loathing, I'll try and summarise my thoughts on Steve Coogan tomorrow. In the meantime some great news – those gluttons for punishment who have been reading this for a while may remember (back in post 77) me mentioning old friends Becky and Harry Morrison and how (after IVF) Becky was pregnant with twins after she was told she couldn't have kids, well, she had them the other day (Freya and Jasmine) and they look gorgeous. Sometimes, events of real significance put life in perspective. This is one of them and it's a happy one!

1 comment:

Simon said...

Congratulations to Becky and Harry. :)
It sounds like the weekend at your folks house was really nice. It's great the their house is up and running again too.

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