18 Jan 2009

Post97:Trying to come to terms with this

I am a tad grumpy today because on a day when I'd normally get a lie-in I've been forced to get up at 6:45 because Averil, my housemate/evening/weekend carer has been asked to work(at her real job) today. So here I am in front of the bloody computer , feeling terrible (as usual) on another grey rainy, cold morning. The only reason I would have got up this early on a Sunday in my old life would have been to go and play golf, at least back then getting up early on a Sunday was my choice, now, more often than not, it's out of my control. I need to wave goodbye to thinking I've got it all worked out, as I naively used to think I had. Instead as inspirational stroke survivor Jill Bolte-Taylor said (look her up on the internet, you won't regret it), 'I am no longer the choreographer of my own life', I have to be able to accept this and move on. It is for this reason why the incredible Vicki comes to talk to me every week and why she has off her own back found me a counselor who is himself a stroke survivor whose specialty (it appears) is to help stroke victims come to terms with living like this
. In three years I haven't been able to do this, I am so hopeful this will feel like a new start, a bit like that feeling you get when you quit a job but you've got another one to go to, there are few finer feelings bar one I can think of.
Today holds some excitement because of a couple of reasons, firstly Becky and Harry Morrison are coming round for lunch and bringing their new twins. In the last three years I have met all sorts of babies and without exception they have all been delightful despite my neighbors 6 yr old son
doing his best to put me off ever having children (in my current state chance'd be a fine thing!) I'm thinking my best chance may be to give an, ahem, 'donation' at the local spermbank. I have horrid images of potential mothers being a bit like Patty or Selma from the Simpsons, now there's an image that'd put you off your er,stride.
The other reason I have for being excited is I'm getting yet more feathers in my stand up comedy cap this evening when friend and losing finalist in the UK competitive eating (seriously) Andy 'the Doctor' Kocen

is taking me to see 'smug bastard' Jimmy Carr
at the Apollo. He should be excellent. Seeing as I seem to have seen most stand up comedians I had the idea of emailing the HR team at a well known publication asking for some unpaid work as a reviewer, here's what I wrote:
To whom it may concern
This is probably going to be one of the most unorthodox requests
you've ever seen so here goes. I'm a 31 year old wheelchair dependent
stroke survivor currently living virtually alone but with visits from
carers looking for something to do with my life. Between bouts of
therapy I write a blog (link below) and try and fight off loneliness,
boredom, fatigue and depression which I can tell you are the prevalent
characteristics of post stroke convalescence. I'll be honest. Life is
pretty hard . Unfortunately, my CV is woefully out of date but I am
educated with 11 GCSE's at A grade, 3As and a B at A level and a 2:1 in
PPE from Oxford, before my stroke I was in buying in Head Office at
John Lewis. I am looking to write (one-fingered unfortunately) outside
of my blog but from home to try and get some direction in my life and
thought your publication might be a good starting point, prove me
I hope that doesn't make me sound like too much of a twat and that it's at least pitched at vaguely the right level, sadly there were one or two typos which probably didn't help but I'll hopefully be able to chalk that down to woeful eyesight,OK anyone who's managed to read this far, have a nice day

1 comment:

nurul iman said...

Thank you very Steady info ... hopefully more successful.
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