15 Mar 2009

Post 112: Trying to Put some Pieces back

After yesterdays depressing effort I'll have a go at being a bit more cheerful but I can't promise anything particularly as I've already been asked 'what's wrong Dom' by my friend Rocio who came in to help me do my morning routine this morning, regular readers of this will remember Rocio as the first agency carer I had when I left hospital. She is wonderful and despite having a 6 month old baby to look after, she always comes to help out in an emergency, after helping me out this morning she was off to the hospital to visit Averil, that's the kind of person she is, when she moves back to Spain at the end of this year she will be greatly missed, not just by me but by everyone who's ever met her, she is a great lady. There are few people I have more respect for.
Despite the subject matter of yesterdays post, I stand (sorry sit) by the content. Reasonable people will see where I'm coming from and I couldn't care less what unreasonable people think! These were the thoughts of someone who feels as forsaken and lonely as someone who has been buried alive and left to die.
Even though I may be looking forward to turning 32 on friday and seeing a lot of my friends on the Saturday I am still smarting from having to spend yet another weekend alone. It seems to be the fate of the wheelchair bound to basically get used to spending time with myself. Sadly Asli ( the gorgeous girl who has restored my faith in humanity) is unwell and I am so ashamed I can do nothing to help her. All I have wanted to do since she told me of her malady is go and look after her but with no way of travelling I am f*cked, a prisoner in my own home.
I still don't know how I'm going to cope with Av being elsewhere. She was ideal at being my carer, she knew exactly the help I needed, she was an awesome cook, particularly since I've been on a diet, she kept the house clean and tidy and kept me in clean laundry and linen, sorted out my numerous and complicated medications and drove my van around as and when but more important she used to think on her feet what the most useful thing to do would be to make life easier for me or my friends, if that meant picking someone up from the station or making the bed for people to use the spare room then so be it. She just made my life easier and when she wanted to be was entertaining company, sure there were occasions when I found her white South African views a little anachronistic but the colurful nature of her language and quirky sense of humour more than made up for this. Caroline leaving also quickly unblurred who was the master of the house and Av finding out that her erstwhile good friend and daugther in law (Caroline) was in fact a lying charlatan (a story I'll explain face to face with people but it's a well deserved label) seemingly embarrassed Av into being an even better carer.
Since her heart attack, The emergency plan has swung into action. My brother (Chris) has shelved some of the job he's been doing renovating a house in Maidstone to come and help me out, Tracey (my neighbour has been keeping an eye on me in the evenings, Mariusz and Ilona, my other housemates who just have to live here and have zero responsibility for me have chipped in and bring me Tea and Jaffa cakes in the morning so my blood sugar is high enough to give me enough uumph to get up in the mornings. There's also Elise, a lovely local lady who Ian (my physical therapist) and I ran into whilst she was setting up a birthday party for her 6 year old son in the village hall during one of my thrice weekly walking sessions. Since meeting her she has already decided to raise money for a stroke charity in the London marathon (she was already running just hadn't decided her charity), because she lives down the road, she has dropped in with meals a couple of times and she has agreed to help me with some of my exercises which I would simply not bother to do on my own. The real find has been Ian though, who has been an ideal physical therapist. I'm sure finding him has changed my life. Even though doing much of the exercise is horrible and the walking practice is some of the hardest mental effort I've ever had to make. He also phones me every so often just to check up on me. It's acts of kindness from all these people that make life worth living. Let's all hope that Av gets better.


Shaun said...

Give Averil Renae and I's best wishes mate.

See you on Saturday, looking forward to catching up

Dom P said...

She's in a coma right now and being moved to St Georges, Tooting for surgery tonight so thanks for thinking of her

Caroline said...

OH My Dom, mmmm suffice it to say that these comments regarding my character and integrity are uncalled for, unkind and more importantly very untrue. I retain the option of "biting my tongue" with regard to Averil, however suffice it to say that the very many "skeletons in that closet" are available at any time for scrutiny. Not my place to expose them, however,seems the time is ripe and these will all be exposed sans any "trashing" on any one's part but simply as a result of circumstances - such as they are!! as will the person in question. I visit your blog often to keep up with what goes on in your life, loved you then, love you still, always will. I am deeply saddened! However, still believe in you and remain in awe of your sharp wit and cynical sense of humour! Love your astuteness, you are such a bright and beautiful young man.

Dom P said...

I wondered if you might put in an appearance. We're in a tricky enough situation as things stand. What's the saying?When the going gets tough etc...

Dom P said...

caroline, obviously its your word vs Avs and she obviously can't back up stuff anymore but what sticks in the mind is you giving me 2 hours notice and leaving the country leaving a trail of debris for Av, Trace and me to pick through. I'd also say that leaving your 3rd husband after 3 months to go back to your 2nd isn't exemplary behavior. I'm sure you had your reasons but it's not exactly something to be proud of!



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