31 May 2009

Post 129: At last something different (maybe)

I think I had a fairly pivotal hospital appointment yesterday. Most times I have seen fatigue specialists,neurologists and even an eye surgeon they have all either shaken their heads, proffered some platitude and done f*ck all, leaving me to think what a waste of space they and their so called 'expertise' are. Call me an ingrate I'm just bored of feeling like sh*t all the time and I guess for vanitys sake always looking like sh*t. Now, I am aware that I have sworn a few times in this already and you might say 'there's no need to swear', after watching Sean Lock on 'live at the Apollo' his answer to when people say this to you is genius. Simply say 'no, I think that's where you're wrong, swearing was invented for just this occasion'. I challenge anyone to say that to the officious call centre or customer services moron who bars you from doing something or makes a mistake and says those words ' there's no need to swear'. Right, gauntlet thrown down. I was all ready to be underwhelmed by my visit to the doc, a neurologist that when he actually prescribed me the stimulant Ritalin
to potentially help my fatigue I almost couldn't believe it. It may sound a bit counter-intuitive to be prescribed a drug that is famous for calming down hyperactive kids
with ADHD (attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder) but one of my better informed friends (there are a few) has informed me that it stimulates people to concentrate more, apparently it is like speed without any of the euphoric bits, I think my initial reaction to this was 'what's the point?' which I obviously said half jokingly. The doctor did say amphetamines might be a next step but there are two problems that (un) fortunately make him reluctant: Firstly, they are addictive; and speed has a crushing comedown which he wasn't prepared to risk on top of my obvious depression. It sounds like suicide Tuesday times a million, no thanks, I feel bad enough already! To make matters even worse I suppose you could surround my house with Burberry clad chavs listening to hardcore. I think I've dodged a bullet there.
One of my slight concerns about stimulants is that all stimulants (and some depressants eg.alcohol) raise your blood pressure so it stands to reason that taking Ritalin does increase the risk of me having another stroke, and according to a book I listened to some time ago by ex CNN anchorman and stroke survivor Mark Mcewen
the #1 risk factor for having another stroke is having a stroke in the first place so my eyes are open. Theoretically, that risk should have been lowered by having heinous Gamma-Knife radio surgery in September 2007 to obliterate the original cause of my stroke, a thing called an AVM , a tiny birth defect that I didn't know about until it blew up in my head. My original Neurologist described it as a 'ticking timebomb' that would likely have blown at some stage, I only survived because I was young. I've done a little research of my own on the internet and apparently 80% of people with AVMs either have a stroke or epilepsy.
[Source:], AVMs are apparently rare so on the one hand I feel f*cking unlucky to have had one while on the other given the location of my Haemmorrage (in the brain stem) I'm f*cking lucky to be alive, what's that there's no need to swear? this is one of those occasions which was invented for swearing. F*CK.
Anyway, another exhausting week of rehab, fatigue and boredom awaits and I haven't even started my writing course yet!I'll let you know if the Ritalin makes any difference to my health otherwise I'll slip them to the hyperactive seven year old next door and everyone's a winner. Later in the week I'm taking my parents to the Albert Hall for some 'la di da' classical Gala and then on to the Hackney Empire on friday to see my current favourite comedian (just edging Bill Bailey
) Stephen K Amos, lets hope the Ritalin helps and that I enjoy the end of the week, tune in next week for more lightweight redacted swearing and news about other stuff. Gosh, you almost can't feel the excitement!


Nick said...

Great comment about giving the Ritalin to Dylan! Perhaps you should ask for a double prescription in any case. Although are you sure he isn't on it already?

Dom P said...

He's definitely not on it but needs to be

Simon said...

When do you start the Ritalin course then?

Mernie said...

How long did the doc reckon it might take to work? Think it's great you're getting the opportunity to try something new xx

Dom P said...

That's just it, it's something new. New stuff has always been vital in my life, that's the big problem, nothing new ever seems to happen.



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