26 Jul 2009

Post 146: The start of Proms Season and some thoughts about being a hypocrite

Not too sure what to write about today, but I've got nothing much better than to sit here and reaffirm that wherever and whoever you are, you can feel a whole lot better because you're not me.
This Ritalin induced rehab setback has hit me hard and it's not just me that's pissed off about it. Even Ian (my long suffering physio who is usually upbeat about everything) is annoyed because he feels a month+ of his hard work has been wasted. We all hate wasted hard work, which literally is the story of my life. I hate the fact that my only road to recovery is about hard repetitive work that I've already done, the thing that used to bite me before my stroke was computer crashes at work that necessitated re-doing large swathes of stuff, and what was worse? Co-workers/ your boss/IT Gibbons making out it was your fault or worse implying you hadn't done the work and that you'd invented the computer crash. This was one of the many occupational hazards of being a smoker (back then), people would assume (sometimes correctly) that you were a workshy, good for nothing lacklusture, overpaid, waste of space (rather like the royals – more on that later). Often when this was implied I had to count to ten, take a deep breath into my then tar coated lungs and somehow stop myself from strangling them but looked at them like they'd just pissed on my chips regardless of who or how important they were. Possibly one of the many reasons I was never going to make it in the city as I was not prepared to adopt either of the two tried and tested routes to success. These are of course:
Or something only the truly gifted awful city f*ckers could do which was of course BOTH. Now, you might imagine this is a physical impossibility, trust me, it's not,I've seen it! B*stards. I am slightly acrimonious about my time in the city as it was the 2nd worst time I had in my life. I have few great memories or friends (there are exceptions who know who they are) from that unhappy couple of years. I was probably pretty dreadful myself. My only good memories are those of corporate junkets. Taking clients to the Stella Artois tennis was a laugh and having a box at the old Wembley was alright,
even though I was not a fan of Oasis
(I liked some of their songs but loathe the Gallaghers), going to see them allowed me to spend my first proper night on the tiles with Natasha. The first of many.
Corporate Hospitality is what provides me with today's tenuous link because on Wednesday I went to the Albert Hall to go and see my first BBC Promenade concert where my parents and I couldn't help but notice the way that the Albert Hall handled hospitality, it basically involved having a table laden with booze at the back of a box reinforcing to me that corporate hospitality is less about the event, and more about free booze. I think that's a fair assessment. Anyway, tenuous link done, my god it was tenuous, sorry!
Now proms season is underway, I'll probably be going to a few because they're good value and classical music isn't bad at all.I have been to my fair share of quintessentially British events and I remember thinking to myself 'the only thing that could make this more British would be if we had to sing the national Anthem
and lo and behold five seconds later the orchestra struck up the opening bars to the national Dirge!
The Albert Hall is also magnificent. As smug b*stard Jimmy Carr said 'this is the best room in the world', (Post 141) Agreed, it just feels special and unusual. For starters the acoustic discs that reflect sound and the deliberately weird ceiling lighting give the impression that we might be under attack from 'independence day' style flying saucers
and the architecture of the top floor galleries
always makes me think the ceilings are covered with Renaissance Frescoes like a sort of Sistine Chapel.
I am aware that I probably use as many cliches and hyperbole and get as carried away as Sid Waddell
during a hard days darts commentary at Lakeside but Wednesdays performance was superlative and out of the top drawer.
I do however prefer rock concerts and stand up comedy because they are more engaging and classical music is rather soporific which is not great for a chronic fatigue sufferer. As if to prove the point my mum
had to shake me awake at one point to get me to stop snoring! I have made the point before that in my state I often like to absorb music through my eyelids, this was simply what I was doing except for at one particularly jolting occasion during Camille Saint-Saens (who I'd never heard of) symphony no.3 when after a long period of relative quiet, the Albert Hall Organ came in at full chat! It must be one of the loudest organs in the world! The shock was tangible and frankly amazing. I used to love being able to turn music up loud, particularly being able to put on a record on a club sound system. It was so empowering!

I have realised that during the course of this blog (in other posts) that I have been guilty of transgressing the one rule I try to live my life by 'try not to be a hypocrite'
Let me explain. I used to actively dislike blokes whose entire raison d'etre seemed to always be about chasing girls. I can think of a few right now and just thinking about them makes me angry, and even want to run over their toes and I realised this morning that that must be what I sound like. It's OK to think it sometimes but not OK to vocalise it. It does people no favours, it'll make other blokes hate you and girls mistrust you. They're a bit like that guy from the Head and Shoulders ads which I recall from part of my time in hospital who called his hairstyle different names dependent on the type of occasion it was. Each occasion had a different girl stroking his hair and him smiling smugly at the camera.
You'll have to forgive my violent thoughts but I couldn't help thinking his smile would have looked far less smug without any teeth!
That's right, they called him Mickey, and his last hairstyle was the 'fluffy puppy'. It's funny how something so innocuous can make you so Angry. Having seen this advert, it is only apathy that stops me changing brands.
The final thing I felt like ranting about was the uselessness of the Royals. Now, the queen I can just about tolerate, I'm sure she's a nice enough old lady and taxpayers probably get acceptable value for money out of her charity work and the foreign fascination with her but the rest of them are a bunch of inbred,thick as two short planks, chinless wonder spongers. What has kindled this ire was the fact that that jug-eared t*sspot Charles
happened to be at the proms on Wednesday. Two specific things made me angry:
1.The entire car park we usually use was closed off so Charlie-boys range rover had somewhere to pick him up
2.The fact that a large crowd gathered and started to applaud him when he appeared.
It made me think of what I once heard miserable scottish B*stard Frankie Boyle had once said on TV. 'the Royals are so pampered that whenever they venture into the real world, how can they tell they're not in a disaster zone?'. I hope the queen lives for another 100 years to stop Charles ever becoming king.
It's got rather like Gordon Brown waiting for Tony Blair to step down now.
As long as serial thicko Charles says nothing or makes none of his usual 'weighty' proclamations Britain will be a less worse place. NB People should consider my mothers thoughts on IT and mobile phones more seriously than any thoughts Charles has on anything and I'm talking about a tech savy woman who appears to believe that any issues with mobile phones are solved by shouting at it. A Not disimilar way to how to make French people understand you. Simply speak English to them in a loud French accent. If they look confused increase the volume and accent. That's bound to do it.


Shaun said...

Good work on the walking mate! Looking forward to seeing you on friday for some Tiesto action...!

Dom P said...

I'm glad you're impressed -I am thorougly depressed by that video . It's taken 4 years to get that far. It's sh*t, that's what it is, 5 day forecast for Tiesto looks ok.

Simon said...

Even if the weather is bad Dom, you can be our ray of sunshine :p

Dom P said...

That's right! I'm good at that. Please help us!

Simon said...

Also Don, you say "It's taken 4 years to get that far." I'd say that's pretty good progress from laying in bed and not being able to move at all.

Simon said...

And god knows who 'Don' is? :p

Tim & Sue said...

Dom - Excellent job with the walking; I'm really impressed. Keep the faith!

Tim and Sue said...

New to this game - Tim and Sue might be better ID than Tim & Sue! Technology!



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