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14 Dec 2009

Post 172: Happy bloody Christmas



I suppose 2009 has been about trying to consolidate living at home with only limited independence, I have had two carers this year, Averil who tragically died of a heart attack age 56 in March and then Adrienne who picked up the pieces for a while but not being able to find a local day job rather forced the issue and she left after the summer. My housemates, young Polish couple Ilona and Mariusz have stepped into the breach and do a wonderful job of looking after the house, the cat and myself. Courtesy of the trust (without whose assistance I wouldn't have my amazing wheelchair or do nearly as much physiotherapy and therefore be in even worse physical condition than I am in (balancing is still not something I can do and I see the world through the fog of fatigue, I would give anything just to get up one day and feel normal. I do 6 sessions of physio a week (3 exercise sessions and 3 walking practice sessions). Compare this to the 1 the NHS were prepared to give me a month. My goal is to walk independently again (hopefully by the end of 2010. Progress is slow, I describe my walking progress like dragging a dead horse across a plateau! I honestly don't think I'm getting anywhere sometimes but I am lucky to have a local physio (Ian) who still encourages me despite my despondency and it's been good to see Romance blossom between him and my neighbour, Tracey, They are bloody good together, Unfortunately I have remained doggedly single, proving to me that girls are just not interested in guys in wheelchairs, despite meeting one or two lovely local ladies who come round for a cup of tea and a chat every so often, my overwhelming emotions are sadly despair and loneliness and sentences that are far too long. I may not sound like a barrel of laughs but seeing people is what keeps me going.. Inspired by comedian Stephen K Amos I try and 'find the funny' in most things, for the most part I have retained a sense of humour and hope that I can still make people laugh despite everything!
Anyway where was I? Life isn't easy and I hesitate to see how it would be possible without the trust. I may show a certain cynicism about Christmas but it brings people together. Now don't eat and drink too much! Happy Christmas Everyone! I almost mean that!

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