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17 Jan 2010

Post 178:Little help?

I am clearly a fairly uncomplicated bloke and all I need to make my pathetic life feel worthwhile is the company of friends or one day finding a significant other. Twice in the last week it is just having company that has made life OK – Most recently (last night) I was taken out for dinner on Saturday night by some of my favourite people in the world, Nick and Sally Walmsley and my best mate Tony, I really see how people like this have to make so much effort these days and for that I am so grateful. I don't just live down the road, people have to come and pick me up, I can't just meet people there, they have to check if the place has access – nothing comes easily, and even at the dinner table joining in conversation isn't the easiest, despite all these difficulties it feels nice today having spent last night spending time with them and I want them to know this, I want everyone to know this and hopefully it will make people more likely to make this sort of effort. I can no longer just nip out and see people on my terms anymore so I rely on people to actively want to make the schlep down here to come and see me. The other time was even simpler, On Friday night all I did was have a glass of red wine and watch a DVD at my house with my neighbour, her boyfriend (also my physio) and my brother. This isn't rocket science! But getting any fullfillment/meaning from my life requires other people and I may suggest away reasons to come and keep me company ad infinitum but I need people to make the suggestion/make the move because I feel like a tw*t banging my head against a brick wall if I'm the one who's always doing the asking, I'm throwing myself on people's mercies here and feel pretty undignified doing it but I feel I need to say this.

1 comment:

Simon said...

Point noted. I will liaise with Mr Random and come see you very soon. Saturday's are now out of the question as i have Keyboard lessons bang in the middle of the afternoon now.

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