11 Feb 2010

Post 185: Dreading V day

I don't want to tempt fate here (this is written before Sunday), but how sh*t was Valentine's day,
or more accurately How sh*t is Valentines day, I much prefer the mooted (on facebook a while back) Steak and Blowjob day which despite it's simplicity and it's cost effective nature is yet to catch on. For as long as it's mattered (since those damn hormones kicked in many years ago - in theory it's 20ish years but in truth I was a bit of a late starter and despite feeling 132, I do still look pretty youngish). As I was saying since it mattered Valentines day has always been a disappointment and despite putting loads of thought,effort and dare I say financial clout (well all I can muster these days) I honestly console myself with the thought that somewhere a girl I care about thinks the flowers, flower, card etc... are from some dark, handsome 'milk tray man'
who cares about them and not from Dom 'in a wheelchair' Pardey. Well, there's nothing else I'd rather spend my slender resources on. I have to live my happiness through the happiness of others these days. That's the way it seems to work now, basic psychology probably says I'm wrong to do this but I'm as bored with theories as I was with Macro-economics when I was a student. Keynes must have bored himself, same goes for Freud. Speaking of theories of conspicuous consumption I couldn't stifle a laugh at the fate of £10m lottery winner and Oxygen thief Mikey Carroll AKA 'Mikey the Pikey' running out of money and now drawing the dole. He was a classy guy too, with 'King of the Chavs' self painted on the side of one of his cars. I know I'm in danger of sounding all Daily Mail about this but stupidity is not a disability and I couldn't give a toss if before he won the money he had a difficult childhood with poor access to education. We have to draw the line somewhere and like Stampy the Elephant in the Simpsons 'some people are just dicks' and should be allowed to fail, it's a shame he hasn't Darwined himself, he doubtless will, because despite being on the dole (a pitiful amount on which I don't know how any self-respecting person could live on) he'll doubtless be able to indulge his fondness for crack and combined with booze and his obese body he'll have a massive heart attack, there are always exceptions to the rule 'don't wish ill of others'. As Super un-PC aussie comic Brendon Burns says 'occasionally, the gene-pool needs some chlorine!' Seriously, if you disagree with that you need to have a word with your 'hippy noodle'. My very first thought when I saw this was 'at last, those bloody cash for gold companies will have a bona fide customer'.
Despite my propensity to rant I continue to try and meet new people through online social networking which after my horrific physiotherapy is my #1 consumer of time and energy. I know it's sad – I have to live with it. Thursdays are now exclusively given over to writing this or doing my writing course which at last is a day I don't dread.

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