8 Apr 2010

Post 198: Is it possible to turn things around?

I think it'd be fair to say that I'm in the middle of a fairly serious slump. Spring is struggling to start and people who see me a lot have said they're concerned. Now I'm not the type to ask for charity but I might well stoop to asking for it now no matter how undignified, wretched and pathetic it sounds. All I need is for people who read this to either come and see me or drop me an email, ok, so this constitutes asking but I've always had a problem with asking people to help me. Why? Because culturally, in my pre-stroke life I never needed help for anything – it is this independence which has always made the relationship between me and my mates two way traffic – now, it is a one-way street. I have got to also embark on the heinous task of finding a new housekeeper to look after the house and the cat and cook for me at evenings and weekends. I also thought I might be able to turn this crisis into an opportunity by seeing if finding a housekeeper might be a starting point for something else. Almost certainly not – maybe I am being hopelessly romantic? I have heard one too many stories of guys in far more difficult physical situations than me finding happiness with their carer, I.e their carer genuinely started to care about them, and I don't even need care (in the understood use of the term i.e. I don't need washing, dressing or feeding) but perhaps I am expecting too much and in return I have too little to offer. I even found myself in the unenviable position of envying Bruce Forsyth last night. Not a man I thought I'd ever envy but as I watched and listened to a bunch of comedians tear him a new one in 'Channel 4s comedy roast' Bruce sat there through all the jokes about his chin and his age (82 apparently but he doesn't look a day over 60) with his former miss World wife by his side(probably at least 40 years his junior) I thought -who's really having the last laugh?
Tonight -Thursday, it's Sharon Osbourne – taking the mickey out of people (as long as they take it in good humuor) will always be amongst the funniest things in the world! I'd be an even bitterer man if I hadn't been able to roll with the punches throughout my short, insignificant life.

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