I think I've found out the answer to the
Why are you so Cynical ?– apart from the obvious answer -Because all of my hopes and dreams have been shattered.
I found the more likely answer during the brilliant, emotive, provocative, subversive, side splitting comedy of Steve Hughes
who I first saw at the end of June (post 218). This doesn't mean I'm into heavy metal! He is Reggie Hunters touring partner and the reason Steve isn't touring himself is that no-ones heard of the bugger, indeed Reg doffed his cap to Hughes saying that he had been a good friend and made him a better person (the affect I aspire to have on people). I don't think I'm anywhere near that yet. Reggie said he was only the headline act because his name was 'going a bit further at the moment.
I was lucky enough to see him twice in the last two weeks, once, a week last Monday and, on Tuesday night because by a strange twist of fate, Reggie happened to be on in Dorking on that Monday, yet months and months ago I happened to buy tickets for his show in Shepherds Bush for the Tuesday -that's the way it works these days, there is not a great deal of method to this madness.! Steve Hughes and Daniel Kitson are now the two men I hope reading this blog makes you want to see, and see live just to watch amazing minds at work. Mark my words names like Reginald D Hunter, Steve Hughes, Bill Bailey
and Daniel Kitson are the philosophers of our time, people listen to them because they are Charismatic, energetic, funny and uncommonly intelligent and people pay good money to see them, and occasionally they talk complete off the wall codsh*t.
Like Mr Hughes people are always asking me: 'Why are you so cynical?' The answer is simple. Because I'm not a moron. This implies that all non-cynical people are morons. Not so, people who believe everything they're told are morons and retards – cynical people just don't believe everything they're told and find it funny that the teller would ever think they'd believe them. There's probably a flaw there somewhere because I thought of that. I am sadly not an original thinker, instead I am just a thinker, a poor soul trapped with just an imperfect damaged brain for company. I try and amass all the best (and sometimes worst) bits of what I see and hear in this tome and I try and attribute as much as I can, Going to see all these shows is now what makes me original. I want to be remembered as having made an effort, as the cripple who did something different or something useful. I want people to be interested although getting into this blog does take a bit of a leap of respect because who the f*ck is Dom Pardey? Honestly, I only listen to people I respect and don't bore me but many has the time been that someone I do respect has bored me and I still don't listen because I can't stop my eyes glazing over, so it's quite simple (as my good friend Shaun Rowland often said) Don't be boring and don't be weird and don't be pathetic. You increase your chances of people listening to you. This has been my mission from age 7 -have some f*cking Charisma – it hasn't always worked, trying to have some Charisma, when you're a little sh*t .That is gonna get you killed and my schooldays were a litany of 'shut up you cocky little b*stard''s, it was only when I grew a foot between the ages of 16 and 20 did it become harder for people to call me 'a cocky little sh*t' not because I wanted to physically intimidate people 'christ, I was the least physically intimidating person ever' and the least likely person to ever pick a fight unless I knew someone needed help but in a ' fight or flight' situation, it was TAXI! Growing a foot helped me avoid ever being accused of SPS (short person syndrome) where a person overcompensates for their shortness by being over-exuberant, annoyingly so. Luckily my height caught up with my exuberance but I've always felt a bit sorry for short blokes. Not for Tom Cruise because he's fruit and nut! I find the joke about how Katie Holmes must have by now written 'GET HELP' in the peas bloody funny. I don't think she needs sympathy ,it was widely known he was into Scientology, believing in Scientology, it's enough to make me believe in god! I just can't not be cynical, I do buy into some of Hughes supposition that we're heading for an 'Orwellian Nightmare' but to believe in all that mumbo jumbo conspiracy crap you have to believe that companies care about anything other than their core businesses and their bottom lines. They don't have the time and they don't have the resources to build a secret underground lair and subsequently launch a plan to secretly takeover the world. Budgets don't stretch to fluffy white cats!