7 Nov 2010

Post 252: Trying?

After my last post a mate of mine that I don't see enough sent me this message:

Thought I should drop you a quick line after reading your latest blog post. Not sure what has caused it but something has changed mate. There's a new vitality.

I know it has been a long hard slog for you but it really does seem with the last post that your tone has changed and that the fizz is back in you - the tone of the whole piece is very positive and inspirational.

I know there will be further tough times for you and that the journey forwards will always involve the odd stumble but, whether it is a corner turned or a point on the mountain path where you can pause and enjoy the view for a moment, it looks to me like you've had a breakthrough. I'm really happy for you.

Keep your head up and keep working at it. It's a challenge but you're a tough guy. The phoenix really does seem to be stirring itself. Your latest post makes me feel certain you can build a future for yourself and inspire others to transform themselves as you do so.
And someone else who I haven't seen for ages said via facebook

'I'm very proud of you, cant wait to see you walking. '

This was a huge help because on the one hand I'm being told I'm not trying hard enough and on the other it's nice to see that some people think I'm still trying. So am I actually trying? I certainly think so – my day to day life is the stuff of nightmares. I'm too tired to do most things, hearing from people and being able to take them to events is my existence but apparently this should come a distant 2nd to my rehab schedule. This is probably right but I'm honestly finding it hard but finding it hard is apparently not an excuse. I think of it as more of a 'reason' but that cuts no mustard so onwards I plod.
This week in order to stay sane, I and serial good lad Ian Betts took me to see possibly the countries leading Comedian, Peter Kay, at the Dome, Kay must be doing something right - he's pretty much sold the place out for two weeks of dates and the place is HUGE! Kay is the master of observational comedy. Vic Reeves says him and Bob Mortimer have never been fans of observational comedy because they've 'noticed everything' except their brand of 'far better to notice things that'll never happen' isn't selling out the Dome. My only slight disappointment was being unable to find anyone to take me to see self styled 'blackest man in comedy' despite being Scottish and ginger, Frankie Boyle, on Saturday, you win some, you lose some.
I've been on a low dose of this new medication for a week and it's clearly the sort of medication that works over time.

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