28 Nov 2010

Post 257: Not the best, but it's been worse

If I'm honest not a great week for my rehab, after consistently bettering my walking times over the last 7 weeks across a variety of distances and managing the majority of my daily schedule, my times for a lap of the garden didn't improve and I didn't manage as much of my daily schedule as I perhaps should have. Luckily the week ended better when I managed to knock a minute off my round the block time to 11.02. I think Ian has succeeded in persuading me there is an immediate direct correlation between my walking times and how much of my torturous daily schedule I do. I am taking steps (no pun intended) to try and do more of it by always doing my 20 minutes of standing on my power plate after I have breakfast each day. I may struggle with it but at least it makes my body warm and I think we all know how bloody cold it has been! I have also invested in one of those bloody Wii consoles to help with my hand-eye coordination on the advice of my lovely Yoga instructor Sam who expressed concern that I seemed 'more down' than usual, I have explained to her that I have been struggling with my daily rehab schedule because I find it skull crushingly boring, so I tried out my brothers Wii on her advice and decided that even though I'm no gamer, it might be less boring. I've also got my counsellor, Cathy, coming to discuss short term goals with Ian and I next friday, this is critically important because my long term goal of walking independently again just seems too far off at the moment.
Enough already about the stuff I have to do. As usual it has been the stuff I don't have to do that has kept life interesting. Firstly I am disappointed, shocked and appalled at how many internet scams there are out there that exist to part the punter from their cash and having knackered eyesight doesn't help. Like a fool I entered my debit card details onto some site or other and before I knew it the f*ckers have charged me £25 for nothing – I suppose I should be grateful it wasn't more, if it wasn't for my dad (my power of attorney) I'm sure I would have been defrauded of lots more. I'm not stupid, I just have bad eyesight!
So this week I have been to two things of note, going to see Jason Manford for the 4th time on Wednesday. I first saw him in November 2008 (post 82) and he is just a nice young lad from Manchester, probably 5 years younger than me but so worth seeing because his observations have genuine gravitas and he is very likeable despite falling into the fashionable honeytrap that is 'sexting' fans. When are celebrities going to learn that nothing good can possibly come of this activity. I know it seems unlikely that scumbag Ashley Cole could teach anyone anything, but texting a stranger anything suggestive has gotta be up there with giving your debit card details to some random website if you're short sighted. To Manfords credit he managed to do the gig despite a higher and louder than average amount of heckling that night. Muggins here didn't know about the scandal till much later, but I now understand why Angus Deayton couldn't continue as the host of 'Have I got news for you'. Paul and Ian would have torn him apart every week. I again have Tanya to thank for saving the day and driving me – she is a big comedy fan despite being tricky to make laugh – well, she is a Saffa.
Anyway, the day after (Thursday) was a mixed bag because I had to go to Charing Cross hospital for an MRI scan. These things may be painless but I can ensure you, there is something deeply Traumatic about going back to the place you spent 7 weeks as a high dependency patient. There's also something faintly sinister about MRI scans. For a start their idle noise appears to be the same as every baddies lair in any James Bond film, you then get put into a machine that looks like a nuclear reactor surrounded by warning signs and people with white coats and clipboards, whilst in the machine you're told not to move, not that you can while the machine sounds like it's going into meltdown around you. Doubtless it's clever, expensive technology, but it feels more like being buried alive with a temperamental nuclear warhead. Luckily, it went as planned although I don't anticipate hearing results for several weeks. I'm hoping that it will show my AVM (the thing who's explosion in my brainstem 5 years ago virtually killed me, I'm hoping this scan shows it is no longer a danger to me. After the ignominy of this experience I had booked for my parents and I to go to an evening of 'the great classics' at the Albert Hall for Bruch's violin Concerto played by the stunning and stunningly talented Nicola Benedetti. I was speechless at both her beauty and her gift for playing the violin. I simply said 'WOW' when she had finished and concentrated looking daggers at the Nobhead who talked through most of the performance, clearly trying to show off his knowledge of classical music. His stupid white beard served to remind me of the horrible eye consultant with the bedside manner of a Dalek who told me that my eyesight would never get better. He's called Mr Lee and my recollections of him being a knob from 2006 are here and from 2008 are here. My parents and I managed to still enjoy the performance and Holsts 'the planets' were incredible.
And Finally, following on from the theme of having a perfect moral and ethical record to do anything in the public eye (my skeletons are probably attached to my wheelchair beccause my closet is upstairs, I was dead chuffed to see a friend of mine who I'll never get any dirt on, despite him being a Tory MP, Matt Hancock, I'm just astounded and grateful that him and his family find time to come and see me. His wife, Martha is awesome, so kind and understanding, she must be being married to Matt, and their two kids, Hope and Ferdi are scarily grown up now, when I first met them they were weeks old and I could barely speak.

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