24 Feb 2011

Post 271: The Tightrope

In many ways this is by far the most difficult post I have had to write because so many things have been swimming around in my head about it, it's difficult to get it down on paper. It's why I dropped philosophy at university because I'd find myself pacing around my kitchen at 4AM wondering whether or not I existed.
I like to think of myself as a fairly decent bloke, always engaged in walking the tightrope
that is life, getting on with people whilst always having a viewpoint on things, a sociopath with an intermittently functioning tact filter. To me the cardinal sin is to be boring, so I've always tried to be interesting by being easy going, but not easy going in the 'daft hippy' sense. Tolerant of most things except crass stupidity, vulgarity, self importance,self promotion, self agrandisation and ostentation. People who take themselves too seriously annoy me although life is serious and can be unbearably hard. This unbearability and seriousness can only be mitigated by the kindness of other people, which is why when people are relieved they say 'my faith in human nature has been restored' – I've said it a few times but humans seem to be selfish in nature so the jury's out, friends and family are so important. I have been brought up to believe that there is nothing more important than my family and friends and everything about this experience has taught me this is fundamental to human existence, but neither should ever be taken for granted so as much as my journey through life has been compromised every decision or thought process I have always considered the consequences for my friends and family or for making new friends. You might be reading this and thinking 'calm down', even if you're not from Liverpool but life is serious sh*t and as much as we all do our best we can somehow make light of it.
Making and maintaining friends is in my opinion the single most important thing in life, a distant second is making sure you are happy. As soon as your ability to make yourself happy is compromised (by say having a stroke) it all becomes about everyone else. I'll give you an example, next month is my 34th birthday – as is traditional, I am going to try and organise a gathering of perhaps 50 people. It is clearly a big day for me but I have been racked with worry about whether it will inconvenience people, cost them too much, will it be an occasion that some people will hate, will it cost my parents loads, will it inconvenience the venue? Blah blah, all this and it's supposed to be my birthday party -sure, going on past form it does help me feel 'these people are here because of me' which makes me feel good but it's always going to be for them and only a tiny bit for me, but especially for my folks. Making them feel proud is great, feeling pride in someone is the best feeling and if you have a stake in creating that feeling, all the better. All effort or expense is worthwhile. Think about it. Make people proud! If this was too introspective and philosophical, tough.Maybe this picture of Ham (left) and Cheese will help. Its hard to believe they're brother and sister?I'll leave you with my current favourite cartoon character, the appearance of whom on TV always makes me laugh, probably because he makes me, the Hypnotoad

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