I dunno what it is, I just couldn't bring myself to cry off sick: Is it the fact it's not likely to be something that'll happen again; the fact that it's cost money; that it's the first time the chap who's taking me has taken me to something? Bar a few extreme hangovers in my twenties that stopped me driving to golf (Legally, I probably couldn't drive), letting people down for whatever reason is so emotionally painful and downright inconvenient to others it's practically physical pain so to cut a long story short I bit the bullet and went to see Omid Djallili
at the Hammersmith Apollo last night (Friday) with my new mate Brian (I won't use the picture I took, he's not as camp as that), the technical wizard who has managed to knock up some amazing gadgets for my wheelchair
I have wanted to see Omid live for years because as racist as it sounds I really rather love the way he takes the piss out of Iran and Iranians which, if we're honest, is a pretty large target, and because he's Iranian, he can do it. He is a funny little Iranian fat man with the most middle class 'I live in Chiswick' accent in the world.
I would guess that 80% of last nights audience were probably middle eastern in origin demonstrating to me that culturally they don't take themselves too seriously and the place was full of what I'd call Persian princesses.
Now, having once gone out with what I can only describe as a Jewish Princess or JP for short I wished that my eyesight wasn't so f*cked. There are always a lot of (I think pretty) girls at comedy nights because girls love to laugh. Sh*t, I love to laugh, does that make me a girl? I don't think so. Even the layman could tell that at 100 paces! Anyway, the disabled platform lift was broken so they had taken some chairs out in the back row.
By way of apology one of the Apollo Staff gave us a couple of drinks vouchers. The lady even said 'are you Mr Pardey? As you're one of our best customers please take these as an apology'. This was kind of them and it's nice to be treated like a preferred customer, given how long I've spent on the phone to their damned ticket office. Honestly, there and Brixton Academy recognise my voice now!
Anyway, as ever, I'm glad I didn't cry off because Brian enjoyed it and Omid said some funny sh*t. I've said it before but stand up comedians are like modern Philosophers. A lot of them just talk sh*t, but very rarely are there not a few nuggets that are genius that you won't get anywhere else. That said he made the cardinal sin of making us wait. Now, I'm not the most patient bloke but stretching my legs isn't a possibility. Anyway I resisted the temptation to shout 'GET ON WITH IT', not something I've always done.
The bits I remember from last night are the thing about three types of intelligence, clever minds talk about ideas, average minds talk about events and simple minds talk about people. I think I cover all three of those bases with this little flight of fancy. But that tells me a lot about the level of most journalism (with apologies to my friends who are journalists, I'm hoping you realise that's a crack at your readers, not you) The other thing was the display of pragmatism. This is a quality I value in people above all others. It is about approaching life with a view to preservation, of both yourself and the people and things you care about, this was exemplified when he was talking about a guy who once shouted at him for selling out and doing those bloody adverts for moneysupermarket.com,
his answer was 'stand-up comedy puts food on the table, advertising puts cars in the driveway'. Classic pragmatism – at least he's not working for Go Compare
– there are lines you don't cross! I also wanted to talk about a TV program I saw the other night that directly effects me. It was called 'dispatches -the great ticketing scandal'
but I've gone on too long so it'll have to wait till next week but it made me MAD, we're in 'writing a letter' territory here.
It's now Sunday and even though I should probably have stayed in bed because this flu business is still very much in evidence, I went to the Bear for lunch with my weekend housekeeper Bianca and my old mates Simon and Steve.
Being able to grit my teeth and get on with getting out of the house is sometimes not as simple as it sounds but it's worth doing to spend some 'normal(ish)' time with people who are willing to make the effort with me. It also gave me a chance to treat Bianca to say thankyou for being such a solid weekend carer. She's moving into a flat in town next week with her best mate as Gary and Gwen are happy to do 7 days a week. Having them live here is such a huge weight off all our minds. Them living here has meant they can be near to their son and grandson who live ten minutes up the road in Epsom. And finally I have sent out invites (on facebook) for my 35th (gulp!) birthday with the following blurb: If you've seen it please RSVP - (I'm only panicking slightly)
Oh lordy, it's getting to the age where you don't really want to talk about how old we're getting, but sod it, I'll be bloody 35 on the 20th of March so I'm going to try and make something good of it! I know that a lot of people just ignore facebook invites because of the sheer volume of useless Spam BUT on XXXXXXXX I'm going to try and organise the annual toddlers creche that marks my 'honestly spring has started' birthday.
It will take place at 'the Bear' in Oxshott where a buffet lunch of all sorts of good stuff will be served. Because the Pardey family (contrary to a few noisy misguided opinions) are not exactly loaded we will be asking you to bring £15 per adult head – all kids go free. I expect the overall atmosphere will be the afore-mentioned creche, like last year, the children seem to like it and it's like my mum is on Ecstasy. Everyone is most welcome to bring a partner or an ally if need be because being a random at this thing would be tough. Once again I have managed to secure the services of the unbelievable Chris Dugdale who wowed everyone last year with his amazing close up magic and in my opinion made the party, he's not one of the best close-up Magicians in the world for nothing. Do please come, it is a special occasion for me and my family -these are the pictures from last year (they're good) and the blog (this is clearly not a great time of year) What is particularly painful for me is this effectively marks three years since Averil's (my first housekeeper/Carer's) heart attack and tragic untimely death and it serves to remind me of our friends who have gone to Australia (Shaun and Renae, Steve and Naomi, Simon the Hat , Paul and Siobhan,Carlito and Lucy, I miss them so much. Before I cry too much THIS IS IMPORTANT, I remember RSVPing is always a nightmare. Make a point of doing it on facebook if you can and also email me whether you're coming and who you're bringing to dompardey@gmail.com. Thanks for reading all of this. I couldn't survive without you! (if this sounds a bit familiar, I did borrow a bit from what I wrote last year.
