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15 Jul 2012

Post 353 – Another British disgrace


And the Olympics haven’t even started! The reason I say this was I and 65,000 other idiots got rained on at Hard Rock Calling in the name of seeing 3rd best grunge band ever Soundgarden on Friday

(for the record Nirvana were#1,Pearl Jam were #2) – I found myself saying to my hero of a friend Oli,

‘They're really f*cking good'. he bravely endures taking me to so many things - maybe because it was Friday 13th I should have known it would rain! Of course, I don’t believe in that sort of bollocks so in actuality, it’s this country and it’s geographical position on the planet letting us down again. These outdoor events can be one of the most glorious things. Wimbledon, The Olympics can all be glorious things if it doesn’t rain. I think the fact that we organise these things, and 1000s of people stump up what is quite a lot of money, and time, and energy, and lets face it when it comes to using the loo at these things, dignity and humanity. It’s nice to think that we are a nation of optimists and it rather pleases me that despite the fact I often get accused (since my stroke mainly) of being a dour, negative, b*stard that deep down, I am an optimist. The fact that I cram my life with all this sh*t is done in the vain hope that making the people who take me happy and possibly myself temporarily happy will help me achieve some sort of contentedness. Any other suggestions are of course welcome. I also have slight rose-tinted spectacles about previous outdoor events. Bon Jovi at Twickenham in summer 2008 is a particular favourite that probably started this way of life and Bon Jovi on the Saturday of Hard Rock Calling last year

Even though Bon Jovi isn’t exactly my favourite, Both events were enough to keep me going to concerts even if it is such a profound effort and expense because life is about saying ‘yes, I can do that’ or ‘yes, I’ll do that’ almost without thinking. If I spent my life machinating and going over all the permutations and combinations of everything I’d spend my whole life prevaricating. That’s not to say I’m blindly, wildly, instinctive although some might call me reactionary – nah, I’m just a do-er and a ‘cut the crap’ sort of person. I can trade in bullshit if the need arises. If I decided (like so many people) to ‘Not risk being tired’ the day after something then I wouldn’t do anything. Being tired when trying to do anything is pretty much the worst thing ever. The worst part of a hangover (well there can be a lot of worst parts) in my opinion is the fact you haven’t slept properly. Since my stroke my lowest moments have been when I haven’t slept properly but thinking about it, when I’ve had nothing to go to and when I haven’t seen my friends have also been pretty bad. As much as I love Gary and Gwen they can’t make me not feel alone. Going out and trying to be as normal as I can be is the only thing I can do. I try not to be precious, for example I have encountered various people throughout my life who have ‘ideas above their station’ –ie if something’s a bit difficult or a bit tiring they won’t do it. They’re not happy unless they’re staying in a ‘five star’ hotel etc... To be clear I’m not one of those people who says ‘doing anything that isn’t a challenge is a waste of time’. No, I like things that should be easy, to be easy, which is why having this stroke has got me down so much and being kicked when I’m down hasn’t helped. That has included people letting me down, people ignoring me, people appearing to think that ‘I have it easy’, people telling me ‘I moan too much’, people telling me ‘you’ve given up’ or ‘you’re not trying hard enough’ or ‘do you know how lucky you are?’ or ’you need to be more positive’ and the latest kicker, my friend Carlie dying last week. I know I’d only met her in hospital in 2007, but she was still my friend, and she was less than 30 – I just wish I’d been to see her more. I first wrote about her here
Back in March 2008
, and I was glad I went to see her (with Gary) a few weeks ago


We had been due to visit her again and it rather shames me we hadn’t been more often. There is a lot said about how the dignity of some disabled people ( this can’t include me if we’re talking about dignity!) can teach us something. She was a great example of that. She is now at peace.
This has hit me a lot harder than I thought something like this would.
So last night was a funny one. I actually had tickets to see Scottish nihilist comic/magician Jerry Sadowitz

(well stone me, a Scottish nihilist?) but a great college friend of mine emailed me a few weeks ago to say that him and his wife were planning a small gathering to celebrate their 10th (10th!) wedding anniversary – now weirdly I had been one of his ushers back in 2002

(see if you can spot me – probably in the prime of my life), anyway, it was in the Sanderson Hotel in Soho. I’m glad I went because I haven’t seen Guy and Teresa for a while as they’ve been in America. The Sanderson is something else – one of these boutique hotels that is hideously overpriced,

the type of place that footballers and models probably go to waste their piles of money. I guess what I’m saying, is the highlight of the bar was the absurd eye candy and the smoothness of the floor, it certainly wasn’t the ‘just too loud so you had to shout’ funky electro-house. I said to guy ‘I’m half expecting Zoolander to walk in.

Guy said’he wouldn’t be surprised if John Terry suddenly turned up celebrating his being acquitted of Racism.

He must have a clear conscience (or as clear as anyone who hires Max Clifford as his PR agent).

I’m sorry, but does having to hire a PR agent make you look as guilty as I think it does?
Anyway, special thanks to Gary for taking me – I think getting to the Sanderson may top the table for worst journeys. I’m nervous about next week. I’ve got a lot on and my Gall Bladder is still a problem and my Vegan no fat diet is making me tetchy.

1 comment:

Nasir said...

some very good and eye-catching pictures....
DCST

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