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27 Aug 2012

Post 363: Another marvellous wedding and a not so good Village Fete


The mixed emotion machine has been in full force over the last week. But Good vibrations were provided by going to Lizzie and Will’s lovely wedding on Saturday. It’s nice to be invited to an occasion like this because it usually means that the people involved have thought about my needs which is nice when worrying about anything other than ‘their big day’ must be hard when they have a million and one other more important things to think about – I mean, organising my birthday bash is more stress than I can healthily cope with, a wedding must be stress to the power n. The type of thing ladies like my mother live for! Well, that and grandchildren. Lizzie and Will looked just lovely. Lizzie is very pretty anyway

and Will, who I’d never met is tall, dark and handsome, so the stage was set.

Lizzie was one of my clubbing mates from about 10 years ago so this wedding was a chance to catch up with some of my clubbing mates, some of whom I see a lot and are brilliant and some who I’m pretty sure see me as a bit of a nuisance and a bore since my stroke which rather breaks my heart and makes me feel a bit let down and has probably dented my faith in humanity.

However, the silver lining has been meeting new friends who are prepared to make the effort, people like Isabel,

who agreed to do this at the last minute when my plans came apart and caused a panic. Isabel being the hero she is agreed to do it so long as she could bring her cute little daughter Lara.

Isabel had made both her and Lara’s dresses which is turning into a bit of a lost art. Unbelievably, Dress Fabrics were part of my area at John Lewis. It is sad that these seem to be skills that people don’t have anymore. The other silver lining was being put on a table with old friends Simon and Sharon

and Bex andJonnie Random and Jon and Megan.

Sharon is married to my old mate Ian, a god among men, just for the amount he used to make me laugh and for his skills as a DJ –he was showing his versatility by being wedding DJ extraordinaire on the night, You probably don’t see what I’m talking about but there were strains of MC Hammer emanating from the Dancefloor as I called it a day. Simon is married to the darkest sense of humour I know which is a good thing in my book but keeps him perennially single (he’d probably make a joke about that sounding a bit like Perineum, which to be fair it does a bit)and Bex (sitting on my left, probably thinking ‘Great, I’m next to Dom, who’s no fun – anyway they were both great, Simon’s a good lad who makes me laugh and Bex may yet persuade him to go to her swing-dancing classes – there’s gold in them thar hills! Definitely a good thing to have gone to methinks. Amazing venue to – just down the road in Teddington.

Apparently used to be a cathedral.
To something not quite in the same league. There is something inherently shit about Village Fete’s

and Oxshott’s is exemplary! This will probably be met by a chorus of ‘don’t be so negative’s, however F*CK THAT, I’m not going to be positive about something with no redeeming features. It is clearly aimed at ripping off Children and their parents, not at exhausted wheelchair bound adults.

The reason I went was to keep Gary and Gwen company and because I figured I could use the air. The best part was the presence of a few classic cars.

I’m really not tight but from the moment they charged us £2 per person entry even after I couldn’t use the pavements on the way there as people in Oxshott won’t pay to park we should have known. The only fete worth going to is the Lambeth Country show where the collision of tractors, livestock,tower blocks, jerk chicken, scrumpy and Reggae has to be seen to prove I’m not making it up.

3 comments:

bagel said...

Did Ian play any "2 unlimited" ? I do recall he has "no limits" in his collection ready to ambush basically anyone :) Sounds like you have been busy Dom

John said...

Nice one Dom, I had to do a parental hospital visit today, but my wife took the kids to the Oxshott fete and for what it's worth, the kids preferred it to the Downside Fete we went to in the morning.
Can't please every one eh?

Dom P said...

I should have concentrated on the setlist more Daegal, but I wasn't there for much of it. Him having a microphone would have made it side-splittingly funny. Might have detracted from the wedding I suppose.
John, I hope not John Terry?
All village fetes are just different shades of shit, they're really only for kids. Parents have to go so they can stand around and sympathize and look surly with other parents. I think I only went so I could say how shit it was, I'm so English and resigned to mediocrity - where do you live?

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