23 Dec 2012

Post 372: It’s not the end of the world...

I think that the internet age has ushered in an era of the nutter (dork on the Venn Diagram, people who out of choice spend all their time on the internet. I’m aware that out of choice I too spend all my time on the internet but my alternatives are limited, and there’s no effing way I’m sitting in bed! I bore too easily and apparently muscles waste rather quicker than I believed plus the idea of wasting my training is hideous given how hard I find it, but the absolute last thing I’d want to do is find a way of using my damn computer in bed! Before you know it, I could be playing warcraft and writing a blog about my failed suicide attempts and obsessions which I won’t do largely because I am not one of these nutters/weirdos. Say what you like, I am resolutely normal! I don’t intend to try suicide because I’d be letting people down, which I don’t plan on doing, and knowing my luck, the attempt would succeed or I’d make life even harder for myself. F*ck that frankly!
I’ve already expressed concern about how Geeks seem to be inheriting the earth
Now, I’ve got to be a bit careful here because a few of my friends might possibly identify themselves as such.
There’s nothing wrong with being smart, having a thirst for knowledge and making the most of your opportunities, the problem seems to arise when people try to be something they’re not, and the anonymity that the internet seems to afford people means that geeks who are nutters and socially awkward weirdos have been given a voice far out of proportion to what they should have. Here comes my amateur sociology. People who say making friends has nothing to do with people’s physical manifestations are talking bollocks, the unwritten, unspoken original model of human sociology relies on three things, looks, personality and sadly in the modern world, wealth, but more particularly, generosity with this wealth because I don’t know about you, but really tight people piss me off! I will call this the old-school model of social interaction. The interesting bit for me is how people behave if they’re deficient to try and maintain where they are in the structure of their social group. Some people just give up and decide that ‘woe is me’ and don’t bother changing anything or some people try and compensate in other ways. This is the path I have tried to follow, trying to enhance my personality whilst spending everything I have after subsistence (food, bills etc) on other people, it’s a much better use of resources, and I don’t think twice about it. By far the hardest thing to do is changing the ‘physical appearance column ( I think in barcharts given my former career, which I don’t think is that bad a thing). Anyway, this hairbrained theory popped back into my head last night and as much as it sounds like a bit of a boring sociology and anthropology essay it explained quite a bit of why I behave like I do now, and in the past and why we all behave like we do. It also explained a little bit why I am finding it tough going now. Basically I am trying desperately hard to be part of a social group that I no longer belong in. My friends for the most part still put up with me which is nice but meeting new people who I’m used to talking to is hard because my physical manifestation puts people off. People make up a lot of their mind in the blink of an eye according to Malcolm Gladwell in his book Blink

that I listened to in early 2010 which covers a lot to do with the psychology of first impressions. I tend to think that making a judgement based on a first impression is often as far as a lot of people go. If this is the case I’m a bit f*cked!
So on the subject of first impressions, this is the one that my hero Bill Bailey made at the Apollo on Tuesday A genius evening, and what makes Senor Bailey so good is he doesn’t have that nasty edge to him that you feel some comedians have – it’s possibly because he hardly swears in which case that’s me f*cked. Here’s what I wrote on facebook the next day:
Bill Bailey really was The Don last night. I exhausted myself laughing and have a few aches today. The way he makes up words/phrases is genius. eg 'to incretinate' is the act of picking up fatuous information on our daily web travails linked to 'passive idiot' or 'secondary stupid'
‘e.g learning that chantelle thought the sun and the moon were the same thing, and on her finding out how stupid a thing to say that was she said 'turns out it's not' which is an absurd way to acknowledge such stupidity. Learning/hearing about her thinking this means you have been duly incredinated, you passive idiots’
I’m also a big believer that people should meet their hero’s

which I did about five years ago. I’ve got solid mate Ched to thank for taking me and for instituting the regular Red Wine, Cheese and Homeland evenings at my house – we had our second one of those on Wednesday. On Monday Brian,

remember (Heath Robinson to the power n) took me to the Apollo to see Michael McIntyres Christmas Charity Gala, where Jack Dee playing the guitar was the highlight.

Given the general consensus that we dislike people being grumpy, it seems preposterous that we love Jack. It must be the bone-dry deadpan Sarcasm that does it. Onto Friday, my 3rd visit to the Apollo of the week. I thought for a nice change, I’d try on for size comedian Robin Ince and D:REAM Mancunian Astropopthrob Brian Cox’s

‘End of the World Show’.

This turned out to be a 3.5hour variety show(so the show could go past the official end of the World time so they could comedically announce that the world hadn’t ended, both funny and gutsy! Thanks to Olly Tress

(the chap who supplied most of the prizes for the raffle at the drinks for taking me! Finally, thanks to the guys who have taken time to pop in for a cup of tea in the last two weeks, Richard Rous and his daughter,

James Renshaw

and Paul Reeves,

it gives me a reason for staying Alive! For what it’s worth happy Christmas and thanks to the people who got me through another year even if the world ending might be the most equitable solution to man’s problems.

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